People don’t change, unless they want to…

Some people will try every tactic to lure you into their drama. Some, even believe with their entire being that you are the problem. They blame you for everything. No matter what you say or do, you are the one who is wrong. It can make you crazy, especially if you care for or love this person… Sometimes we even believe them and try everything to make it better. However there comes a point when you need to stop the insanity. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. It is not your responsibility to fix that person or make them see the error of their ways (even if you are right). We try so hard to get them to see they are wrong and how they are hurting us. But, they will never stop and never change, unless they recognize their problem, and they decide to. If you continue to engage you are simply hurting yourself and allowing them to spew their negative energy onto you… and you also continue to enable them to make you the problem. This is not an easy thing to accept or change, but when you hope someone changes it’s because you are afraid to… you are afraid to let go. People don’t change, unless they want to… I promise, there is better for you but you need to believe it first. © Jodi Healy

About Jodi Healy

Mother, Author, World Traveler Philanthropist, and Blogger in the Quest for Truth, Happiness, & Enlightenment... jodihealy.com
This entry was posted in Relationships - Love and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to People don’t change, unless they want to…

  1. Stanley Smith says:

    How did you know I was having this problem?

  2. Stacy says:

    I think everyone has this problem, particularly if you inherited a leadership position. How are you helping these folks recognize they need to change in order to stay with the organization?

    • Jodi Healy says:

      Hi Stacy, I think we have been “programmed” this way, and our programming is wrong (as leaders, educators and parents). We have originated and evolved into a world of blame, where people don’t take responsibility for themselves. Even in a leadership position we must make people accountable. Or, we need to find someone else to bring on the bus. The most successful companies all say they had the right people on the bus, not the wrong or slackers or those who don’t raise the bar. As a leader first we set the example and create/raise the bar, but more importantly we don’t enable people to be complacent and NOT raise the bar themselves. We can give someone a chance, set our expectations, BUT we must hold them accountable to those expectations, not accept excuses or excuse not meeting them. There must be consequences (globally there are always consequences; lost sales, customers or profits). And sometimes, unfortunately, the consequence needs to be simply getting rid of them… 🙂 xo -Jodi

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